Rising from Rejection

How to rise above your failures to reach success

Photo by MJH SHIKDER on Unsplash

My career is filled with rejections. And to be honest, I’m glad.

I’ve become somewhat numb to rejections at this point. They don’t bother me as much. And I can usually find the silver lining in them.

Rejections will happen in your career. And while you can’t avoid them, you can grow from them.

Today I want to share three kinds of rejection I’ve personally encountered. I’m willing to bet you’ll face at least one of these types if not all of them. But fear not because I have tips to help you overcome them.

Facing job search rejections

If you work long enough in software engineering, I’m certain of the following. You’ll get rejected at some point during a job search. It might happen before, during, or after the interview process. But it’s bound to happen.

Handling automated rejections

You’ve just applied for a job. And within days, or even hours, you get the dreaded email. You’ve been rejected through a cold and automated message.

At first, this stings and feels cruel. But the good thing about rejection is it gets easier.

Out of all the rejections you’ll face in your career, this one should bother you the least. The company didn’t even give you a shot. And you don’t even know if they reviewed your application.

Let it go and move on.

Dealing with mid-stage interview rejections

Interviewing for a software engineering job is a multi-step process. There are recruiter screens and hiring manager interviews. And also technical assessments and code challenges. There might even be a system design or culture fit interview.

You can get rejected at any step in the process. And often without a concrete reason.

Here’s how to deal with this kind of rejection:

1. Seek to understand why. Ask for feedback from the company. Confide in a friend for support and guidance.

2. Keep track of when and where you’re getting rejected. Maybe you need to practice behavioral interviews. Or better prepare for technical questions.

To avoid mid-stage interview rejections, you need to understand why they’re happening. Create a plan to boost your interview skills and stick to it.

Confronting rejection after the final interview

Arguably, the hardest rejection to face is that after the final interview. You’ve spent hours in the interview process. You’ve passed all the previous steps. But you fell short. And they chose the other candidate.

I’ve been there before. It’s painful and frustrating. But with the right mindset, you can learn from the experience. And eventually, secure a job offer.

Think about it this way. You made it to the end. You did everything you could to be the last candidate standing. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.

If you can make it to the final round, you can pass the final round. Let that motivate you to keep going.

Like it or not, the interview process is a game. And to win the game, you have to convince the other side that they should hire you. The more you play the game, the better you get. Soon you’ll know what to say and do to beat the game.

Being fired

I’ve been fired twice in my software engineering career. In hindsight, these events were setbacks but didn’t end my career. I got back up and kept going.

If you ever get fired, please remember this:

You’re going to be okay.

I know you might not think so at the moment. It could take days, or even months, to be okay but you will be.

The truth is people in Tech get fired all the time. You don’t hear about it often because it’s not something people like to talk about.

If this happens to you, please don’t think you’re a failure or that you don’t belong in this industry. You have the power to learn and grow from it. Your career doesn’t have to be defined by a couple of unpleasant experiences.

Turning mistakes into growth

There’s usually writing on the wall when you get fired. You might be able to look back on what you said or did to cause it. I know it can be hard to admit your faults, but that’s where growth begins.

I’ve made peace with being fired. I’ve acknowledged the mistakes I made. I’ve thought about what I would do differently. And I’ve brought that insight with me into every new job.

It’s not all your fault

When a company fires you, they’re making a business decision. This message is loud and clear. They don’t want to spend any more time and money on you. In other words, they’re giving up on you.

Managers, leaders, and companies deserve part of the blame when you get fired. Maybe they didn’t give you the support you needed. Maybe they failed to acknowledge your struggles before it was too late. Whatever the reason, they’re at fault too.

This doesn’t change what happened. But it can bring you some peace in knowing it’s not all your fault. And it can shed light on the important role managers and leaders play in employee growth and support.

Being laid off

I’ve been laid off twice in my career. The first time was somewhat expected. The second time was a surprise. Both felt like a gut punch, leaving me worried about finding another job. But my career moved forward.

If you ever get laid off, keep this in mind:

Don’t take it personally. It’s a business decision.

When you get laid off, you might choose to blame yourself. You may start to analyze who was or wasn’t on the chopping block. Or compare your job performance and salary with others to rationalize the decision. But that’s a lost cause.

The truth is the company decided to terminate your role. And their reason doesn’t matter. They no longer want to pay you for your services — full stop.

How to bounce back from a layoff

At the start of my career, Tech layoffs were a lot less common. Jobs were more stable, at least with large, public companies. That’s no longer the case today. Your job is no safer at a MAANG company than at a small startup.

So how can you rebound from a layoff? Here are two actions I would take:

1. Ensure your emergency savings fund can cover six months of essential expenses. This cushion will provide stability while you search for a new job.

2. Embrace the habit of always expanding your network. A bigger network will open more doors for you, including job opportunities.

You might not be able to avoid a layoff. But you can take measures to reduce its impact.

Recognize the red flags of potential layoffs

If you’ve endured multiple layoffs, you may be able to identify some patterns or warning signs.

Is there a noticeable exodus of company leaders? Are growth metrics down once again? Does the industry you work in depend on the stability of another industry? Knowing these answers could tip you off that a layoff is looming.

This knowledge can sometimes give you the evidence you need to switch industries or job roles. However, bear in mind that layoffs can impact nearly every job sector.

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By now I hope you realize something. No software engineering career is immune from failures or rejections. It’s not a matter of if, but when. And how you respond when it happens.

I know how devastating rejection can be. It can feel like a dark and lonely place. But its impact is temporary. And you’ll grow from it. Your next rejection means you’re one step closer to success.