The 1 Career Secret Nobody Tells You: It’s Okay to Not Know

How to Navigate Your Career When the Path Isn’t Clear

Photo by Laurin Steffens on Unsplash

I recently wrote about the power of saying ‘I don’t know.’ I mentioned how you can grow through vulnerability. And why asking for help isn’t some shameful sin.

I want to expand on this idea and relate it to larger concepts like your skill set and your career. But first:

It’s okay if you don’t know what you want.

Whether it’s in your job, in your life, or even in your relationships—it’s okay.

It’s taken me nearly 20 years in tech to realize this. I hope it won’t take you as long.

Today I want to share a few stories with you about times in my career when I didn’t know what I wanted. As you’ll see, things worked out despite the unknowns. And I’m sure they will for you too.

I didn’t know who I wanted to be

I went through an uncertain phase in my career around the 12-year mark. I was a proven Senior Engineer, but I didn’t know what I wanted next in my career.

There are so many different roles on product development teams. And these roles mean different things to different companies. At the time, I was working for startups without managers or staff-level engineers.

I had to go outside of the workplace to find clarity. I ended up leveraging my network on LinkedIn. I had some informational interviews with other engineers and engineering leaders. These conversations opened my eyes to new possibilities in my career. And I decided to work on my people and leadership skills so that I could become a manager someday.

The decision to follow the individual contributor or manager path is not an easy one. I’ve seen a lot of people forced into roles they’re not prepared for or don’t even want. This results in managers who don’t want to manage and engineers who’d rather focus on people leadership.

It’s okay if you don’t know what you want in your career. This is a major decision—take your time. In our careers, we’re often influenced the most by coworkers and leaders at our current company. But keep in mind there are hundreds of job roles and thousands of companies.

Don’t be afraid to talk with people outside of your professional bubble. This might give you the answers you’re looking for. At the very least, it’ll provide you with fresh perspectives.

If some person or company tries to make a career decision for you, don’t let them. Tell them you need the space and time to decide for yourself.

I didn’t know what I wanted to learn

My journey as a software engineer hasn’t been a straight path. And I believe that’s the case for most engineers.

My first job title was Web Application Developer. I was a ‘Fullstack Developer’ before the term was even coined. I worked across the stack, from Microsoft SQL Server to CSS.

It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with frontend development. For me, there’s nothing more rewarding than building user interfaces that solve real problems. Add a sleek, modern design with some playful animations, and I’m all in.

I enjoyed being a frontend specialist for several years. But then I noticed a shift in the industry. Fullstack Engineers were all the rage. It seemed everyone wanted to be one. And I was worried I might have to become one too.

Should I learn Ruby, Python, or C#? Do I need to understand how these new databases work? Are my days as a Frontend Engineer numbered? These are some of the questions I thought about and stressed over in my career.

There will be times when it feels like you’re being pulled in every direction. You might even be pressured by your peers and company leaders to learn this new technology or that new framework.

It’s okay if you don’t know what you want to learn. This is a blessing in disguise. You can turn this moment of doubt into a learning experience. Explore what’s out there before going all in.

I never did become a Fullstack Engineer. I know enough about the backend to be dangerous, as they say. But my joy for coding permanently resides in the frontend. Instead of learning Python or C#, I doubled down on the frontend. I added React, TypeScript, and GraphQL to my tool belt. And I’m so glad I ended up following my passion, not someone else’s.

I didn’t know where I wanted to work

When I got my first job in tech, I didn’t care about industry or company size. I just wanted to work, learn, and become a better developer. It wasn’t until later that I realized how many kinds of companies exist.

Technology can be found in nearly every industry and line of work in the world. While this offers engineers more choices, the decision of where to work can be overwhelming.

There are tiny startups, massive corporations, and everything in between. There are 100% remote companies and 100% office companies. There are edtech, cybersecurity, fintech, agritech, retail, healthtech, and gaming companies.

For a long time in my career, the uncertainty of where to work weighed on me. I’d see other engineers on LinkedIn sharing news about joining a hot new industry or a well-known company. It made me wonder if I should apply to this unicorn or move into that field.

Eventually, I landed on a conclusion that still holds true for me today: I won’t choose a job based on what others think I should do, but on what matters to me. My values are important, and they guide decisions like the kind of company I want to work for.

I’d rather be part of a 30-person department than get lost in a 300-person one. I’m a 100% remote engineer—going back to an office isn’t for me. And I value a flexible work schedule far more than company swag. It wasn’t an overnight realization. It took years of experience across different companies and teams to figure this out.

It’s okay if you don’t know where you want to work. Most people don’t until they’ve explored what’s out there. You might start in one industry in your 20s and discover a completely different path in your 30s. In technology, the only thing you can truly count on is change.

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Theodore Roosevelt famously said, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy.’ This quote is always on my mind, reminding me to stay grounded and focus on what matters most—my life, not someone else’s.

The Internet can make you feel like a failure for not hitting every milestone exactly on time. It’ll convince you that you’re falling behind if you don’t learn the latest frontend framework or work for a company that flies its team to Hawaii every year.

But here’s the truth: it’s okay if you don’t know exactly what you want right now. You don’t need to have it all figured out. I didn’t, and I’m still here. You will be, too.